IOF Defeats Pharmacology 13-7
Softball equipment. Image by pictureback from Pixabay
“It was a great win, especially because we were short on third floor players today so our expectations were obviously low” said left fielder “Grand Theft Auto: San” Andreas Novotny.
Production up and down the Reefs roster was a resounding endorsement of Skipper Kristin Sora’s new “let Jake, not a random computer program, design the lineup” strategy. Kept in order by bench coach Jo “Schmo” Moreaux the IOF hitters had one of their most successful games to date.
The game started slow for the Reefs: after surrendering a run in the top of the first, the IOF struggled to respond in the home half of the inning. Lefty Sarah “I swear to god Jake, learn how to spell my last name” HNYTKA continued her pursuit of the IOF all-time record for flyball outs to right field with a flyball out to right field. The Reefs managed to get one run in on a double by all-star Anna McLaskey, but the game was tight early.
Commenting on the early innings, first baseman Max Miner “49er” made a disturbing connection. “We were slow, not very effective, and everyone was just standing around eating chips… Was I in a softball game or an IOF Student Society Meeting?”
Standing in the Reefs way, like a comprehensive exam or the overly complicated online booking system for AERL rooms, was the Pharmacology shortstop. Ball after ball was hoovered up by the opposing infielder like juvenile salmon to a seal or those poor baby fish in Loic’s green fish tank being eaten by their parents.
The game was tied entering the third, both teams looking for an edge. Suddenly, plays started happening for the Reefs. In the field Kristin Sora made not one but three great catches (yes, some people from the CORU do actually show up), and fortunately “Unfortauntely” Adam Hicks managed to avoid having a ball hit to him at all. Later, Massachusett’s Maggie Slein fought her way on base and scored a run and so did Roshni’s boyfriend. Famously understated Jake Lerner roped a smoking triple to left field and the IOF took a tenuous 9-7 lead.
After an uneventful top of the fifth the IOF pulled away from Pharmacology, scoring four runs on multiple hits. Many of these runs were scored on Pharma errors forced by the brazen baserunning of “Baroclinic” Haley Oleynik. The chaotic rightfielder was on the DL by the end of the inning, having injured a hamstring startling the Pharma second basemen with a mad dash from first. The 13-7 score would stand the rest of the game.
“Julia Fast, Emily Brown, all the no-shows… they’re just X’s on the lineup sheet as far as I’m concerned” said ‘you must be thinking of someone’ Elsa Martinez, echoing the sentiment felt by many on the often shorthanded but now victorious Reefs.
The Reefs are now 3-5 and will face off against Microsoftballogy next Thursday at 5:30 PM.