Pharma Fries Fisheries

Valiant effort against Pharmacology goes in vein, IOF drops game 24-11

Looking to string together a 2 game winning streak, the IOF Keanu Reefs took on the Pharmacology Druggers and Sluggers Wednesday night.

Pressure on the team has been building. “70% regulation sized ping pong tables don’t come cheap,” IOF director Willam Cheung commented before the game, “We have a lot of IOF money riding on a graduate softball ‘ship this year and if the team doesn’t deliver Kristen will hear about it at her next committee meeting.”

Pharmacology drew first blood in the top of the first with several deep blasts reminiscent of the ‘Sluggers steroid sullied early 2000s teams. Down big early, the Reefs tried to claw their way back into the game behind hits from Karly “Sweater Weather” McMullen and “Has” Ben Staples. Unfortunately, not even platinum pitching from Sterling Vanderzee could keep the Reefs bats hot in the raw June weather.

The rough outing left players upset. “Instead of seals and sea lions, how many pharmacology students do you think a transient killer whale needs to survive?” asked a heated Taryn “me apart” Scarff after the game.

As the innings continued the IOF managed to stay in the game behind deft fielding. Skipper Kristen Sora turned an unassisted double play and Maggie “The Scituate-tion” Slein was a sure thing at first base. Zoology’s Kaleigh Davis was as good as a $2 beer playing 2nd base and, at one point, “Deadly” Dana Price channelled her inner DJ LeMahieu and tried a barehanded play in the infield (it didn’t work, but it looked cool).

The strong defensive play left a mark on Adam Hicks, playing in the first softball game of his career, who stated, “I was impressed with those plays, this team makes playing infield look as easy as illegally trading endangered seahorses.”

Pharmacology must have had Georgia Green on their mind because they seemed to hit every other ball in her direction. The IRES player did not seem to mind the attention. “You can only spend so much time cloistered behind a locked 4th floor door before you have to come out and play ball,” Georgia stated.

With the game not quite out of reach the Reefs staged a late comeback. With his head out of the clouds for an afternoon, atmospheric scientist Elliot “bucka’ Roocroft smacked an RBI double. The rally was going strong when Becca “you betcha” Beutel nearly shredded her pants trying to beat a ground ball to first base. Kathleen “the machine” Gill got on base and hits by Haley “the clinic’ Oleynik and Jacob Lerner buoyed the spirits of the IOF team heading into the final innings.

In the top of the 6th, however, things turned sour. A ball batted towards “irreplaceable” Ira Garcia on third base bounced off her glove and into her face, leaving the battered ballplayer bloodied on the baseline. Questions swirled: was the hit intentional? was it somehow Haley’s fault? does anyone have a tissue? In the end, hustle from a local first aid officer and Iria’s gritty attitude resolved the injury.

The game was responsibly called at this point. Reefs 11, Druggers 24.

Update:

The IOF softball league schedule has changed slightly. If you wanted to come and cheer on your fellow IOF students, staff, and post-docs, there will be a game at 4 pm and 5:30 pm on June 22 at the Thunderbird Stadium (6288 Stadium Road). The schedule for the remainder of the season is as follows:

June 29: NO GAME
July 6: 4 pm against The Beerettes
July 13: 5:30 pm against Microsoftballology
July 20: 5:30 pm against Druggers and Sluggers
July 27: 5:30 pm against Commerce Cubs
The playoffs will be held on Aug 3 and 10th, and we will update once we have the finalized schedule.

Tags: IOF students, softball