IOF defeats Commerce Cubs 8-6
Softball equipment. Image by pictureback from Pixabay
After losing opening day to a Physics team of Math department drop-outs, the IOF sought to rebound against their natural rivals, the cantankerous and captious Commerce Department.
As always happens against Commerce, the game got off to a rocky start. With two outs in the fist inning, “All-American” Anna McLaskey applied a tag to runner caught in a pickle play between second and third. Commerce ignored the tag declared the runner safe, allowing two runners to score on the following hit.
“I was as stunned as an electrofished stickleback that they called him safe,” said first baseman Sarah Hyntka. “I’m positive the impact of that pickle play provoked our players in the proceeding innings.”
Following the dramatic first inning, the game settled into a well fought defensive struggle. IOF second baseman Ming Cao and third baseman Eliott “Moose” Roocroft kept the Cubs off base with heads up infielding.
Though not many balls were hit to her, Benia “done that” Nowak seemed content playing outfield. “I like playing outfield because it’s like my future PhD in Norway,” Benia said. “It keeps the greatest distance between me and you IOF people as possible.”
In the fifth inning, with the game tied 3-3, things picked up for the Reefs. Hitting in succession, three Europeans, who had never played softball before, got on base. Izzy “Mandias” Morgante launched a single and “All-Day” Andreas Novotny and “Heroic” Loic Jacquemot followed with hits and RBIs.
“We got a lot of criticism for our heaving drafting of European players this off season,” said Skipper Kristen Sora after the game. “But the new players really showed that playing softball is just like being a member of the IOF safety committee or thawing marine mammal poop; you can do it without any proper training whatsoever.”
By the time the fifth inning was over, the IOF was up 8-3. Despite threatening more runs in the 6th, solid swings by “Shoeless” Jo Moreaux and “Darin’” Taryn Scarff were swept up by the Commerce infield.
A late rally by Commerce in the bottom of the 6th was beaten back by defensive plays from Logan Wedgewood “One Sports Radio” and the IOF took the victory 8 to 6.
“I loved it” said Julia “not so” Fast, playing in the first softball game of her life. “I totally understand now why some people would delay defending until after the softball season is over. That’s a completely reasonable train of thought.”
The Reefs are now 1-1 heading into week 3 of the season. They take on the Pharmacology Druggers and Sluggers next Thursday at 5:30PM.