“It was weird to be winning a game for once,” said bench coach Dana “Fisher” Price, “but not weird like the pizza toppings after IOF seminars, weird in a good way.”
Reefs Defeat Business 30-12
Softball. Image by Amanda Powers from Pixabay
Facing an old adversary known for trash talk and rule quibbling, the IOF quickly found itself in an unusual position: winning. After giving up two runs in the top of the first, the Reefs put together a mercy-rule inducing 5 run bottom half of the inning, seizing the lead and never relinquishing it.
“It was weird to be winning a game for once,” said bench coach Dana “Fisher” Price, “but not weird like the pizza toppings after IOF seminars, weird in a good way.”
Throughout the game a stout defense, buoyed by heads up infield plays from “Salmon” Cheplick and Po-Yuan Hsiao, kept the Cubs off the board while the Reef’s offence fired on all cylinders. In particular, the team’s two English EOAS players (applications for the position are now closed), Eliott “the Jet(stream)” Roocroft and “Struttin” David Stretton provided consistent power at the top of the batting order, each notching multi-base hits. The IOF lead continued to widen as inning after inning saw the team reach the 5-run mercy rule limit.
“I think it’s a pretty universal sentiment that any day you can get away from one of your four desks and run up the score on a bunch of business students who have never played softball before, is a good day” said player (only player, not co-captain, thanks Kristen) Jake “early bird” Lerner who went 3-3 on the day.
When Commerce did get a rally going in the top of the 4th, Loic Jacquemot stepped up on defense with some clutch outfield snags, shutting down the Cub’s batters like they were fundamental questions about the utility of eDNA.
Heading into the bottom of the 6th, the IOF was clinging to a 25-12 lead. “We actually didn’t need to play the bottom of the inning, we had already won,” said catcher Taryn “I still work here” Scarff, “but we wanted to kill these pencil pushing posers as thoroughly as Caroline killed those mice on the 2nd floor of AERL.” Minutes later, “Hulk” Logan Wedgewood launched an 80 yard blast for a three run home run to close out the game, his second of the day.
Not there to witness the finale was right fielder “Polemic” Haley Oleynik (1-3 on the day) who, clearly confusing the 7PM softball game with a Friday afternoon, left early.
Though a year removed from last season’s disappointing second-to-last place finish, this incarnation of the Reefs team fielded many familiar faces. When asked about the lack of new players, skipper Kristen Sora could only muse. “This new cohort just has different priorities. In the past our people would play through a concussion, now all it takes is a Grace Melcher’s blundstone to the shoulder and you’re ‘”injured” for 4 months.”
Come see if the IOF can make it two in a row next Thursday at the reasonable hour of 5:45PM when they take on the Psychotics at Thunderbird Stadium.