Reefs Defeat Microbiology, Advance to Semifinals!
Softball equipment. Image by pictureback from Pixabay
The team that took the field yesterday on a rainy Wednesday afternoon, however, would not go quietly into that graduate softball good night. With their season on the line, the Keanu Reefs turned in their strongest performance of the year and scored a shocking upset, defeating Microbiology and stunning the softball world.
“I think a lot of people saw our 1-8 record, 7 game losing streak, and -150 point differential and thought we would be an easy team to beat,” Skipper Kristen Sora commented after the game, “but, unlike IOF pizza Fridays, we do eventually come back.”
The team looked confident from the outset. Taking advice from IOF life coach Logan “Potato” Wedgewood, Sterling “Cod” Vanderzee put together a novel batting order designed to produce runs.
It did not take long for the new formula to yield results. Following a scoreless first inning for both sides, the IOF put up 5 runs in the second in a rally started by a blast from “Bruiser” Ben O’Connor.
The Keanu Reefs then found themselves in an unfamiliar scenario—defending a lead—and tightened up on defence.
“We knew five runs was not going to be enough,” said ‘The Danimal” Dana Price. “A softball game is like a sea otter gastrointestinal tract; long, surprisingly bloody, and full of surprises.”
Protecting the lead, Kathleen Gill “Biopsy” made two critical outs at second base to keep Microbiology off the board and Adam “Taylor” Hicks prevented a double with a clean stop on a line drive to right centre field.
The teams settled into a back and forth, trading runs while the IOF maintained its tenuous position atop the scoreboard. Ben “Paperclip” Staples, playing without glasses or fear, tackled ground balls at shortstop. Jacob “Lifelong” Lerner vacuumed up throws to first base. Even Roshni “don’t ask me to play softball unless it’s the playoffs” Mangar, playing in maybe the second game of her career, made good contact on her swings.
The IOF had production up and down the line up. “I just imagine the ball is one of the seagulls that lives on top of IRES, and suddenly I’m hitting the thing way out of the infield,” said Lekha “Constitution State” Tlho who smacked several key hits throughout the game.
Things nearly went south for the IOF in the fifth when a Microballology player caught “Catalytic” Haley Oleynik sleeping in right field. Roused, she quickly recovered the ball and the damage was stopped there. In these moments, the team looked to All-American, Almost-Canadian Anna McLaskey to help keep the team’s spirits high with her stirring motivational calls.
In the final inning, the IOF led 12-9. Shut out in the top of the 6th, the team was feeling the pressure of holding on for the final three outs. A ground out to second, a fly out to left field. The Reefs were one out away. The final pitch was popped up to shortstop where Eliott “Elli” Roocroft was in position. The atmospheric scientist reached to the sky, fielded it, bobbled it, juggled it, and, suddenly, caught it. Game Over: Reefs-12, Microbiology-9.
Pandemonium ensued. There were high fives, low fives, chest bumps, knuckle pounds, half hugs, head grabs, whistles, and cheers. The losing streak was broken and the IOF had secured a position in the semi-finals.
Even IOF Associate Professor Brian Hunt got caught up in the excitement. “I don’t usually follow sports that let you breath oxygen as you play,” said the former underwater nok hockey all star. “But watching the Keanu Reefs win is more exciting than pulling up a fresh Bongo net.”
Tags: IOF Student Society, softball