IOF burned by Chemistry, drops 3rd straight game
Softball equipment. Image by pictureback from Pixabay
Not far from recent memory was a humiliating 32-4 opening day loss to these same Beerettes. “This was our chance to send a message,” Adam “Tussauds” Hicks stated. “We wanted to destroy this team as effectively as illegal online trading has destroyed endangered sea horse populations.”
“Irascible” Iria Garcia Lorenzo gave the team a boost by appearing in her first game since coming off the DL (concussion courtesy of pharmacology). “Of course I’m ready to play,” Iria said, “It was shocking when the injury happened, but I barely remember it now.”
Despite the positive momentum, things quickly went south for the ‘Reefs. The Beerettes jumped to a five run lead in the first two innings. The ball continued to be hit to IRES’ Georgia “Gang” Green at an unsustainable rate but defensive efforts from her and Ben “don’t get the mummichog drunk” Staples in right field prevented further damage.
Also on defence, the IOF was assisted by strong plays from Dana-“mite” Price behind the plate. “Everyone knows there is no love lost between sea otters scientists and chemists,” Price said, “I hope we see these beaker brats again in the playoffs.”
Despite being urged on by stand-in manager “Glarin” Taryn Scarff, the ‘Reefs’ offence struggled throughout the game. A big hit by ringer Logan “Leading” Wedgewood, and another by famously modest and soft-spoken Jacob “wow so good at softball” Lerner went unexploited as runners were left stranded due to Chemistry’s smothering fielding.
Chemistry racked up 10 more runs in the mid-innings and things looked bleak for the Keanu Reefs. A lone bright spot was atmospheric scientist “There can only be one Englishman named” Elliot Roocroft. In the midst of putting away 7 outs with a gold glove effort at shortstop, the airy limey lofted a softball into the stratosphere for a two-run dinger to put the IOF on the board.
Still, even this blast and the late game arrival of “Voracious” Vero Bourgault could not prevent the final outcome: Beerettes-17 IOF-2.
Some players were clearly frustrated by the loss. “First they told me I couldn’t operate a live BBQ grill on varsity turf during an active softball game and now this,” grumbled “Gnarly” Karly McMullen, “They say digesting biological material in H2O2 to study micro-plastics prepares you for the real world but this still stings.”
Other players were more philosophical. “We just didn’t get the hits we needed,” said Haley Oleynik. “Some days you’re the insatiable harbour seal, some days you’re the juvenile salmon.”
Throughout the game the IOF was cheered on by a surprisingly large 5 person crowd, including members of the MMRU desperate for fresh air after hours of fecal analysis. Florian Luskow was also in attendance and offered some advice to the struggling team. “Float like a jellyfish, sting like a jellyfish. Actually, if you see any freshwater jellyfish please conta—”
The IOF will attempt to turn the season around next week when they play Microsoftballology at 4PM on Wednesday, July 13th.
Tags: IOF Student Society, IOF students, softball